Jackson is 7 months old

Here it is, we have made it more than half way through your first year of life. I feel a sence of accomplishment, how ever little it is, we are on our way. Infant-hood is behind us and we are making our way through baby-hood. To be honest I have postponed writing this. I have been so exhausted, still not sleeping through the night and I wanted to be in a happy frame of mind. It's hard when I don't get more than 4 hours of sleep in a row to not take out my grumpiness on you. It's not your fault sweet baby. I blame myself but truth be told it's no ones fault, it's just life right now. I hear how other peoples babies, younger than you, are sleeping through the night and I get super grumpy. Like, what have I done wrong? I know a few things that we are going to work on. I have given up trying to soothe you in the middle of the night, I just feed you and it puts you back to sleep, but now we have formed a habit, one that we need to break. It doesn't help that you are sharing a room so I can't let you cry or you will wake up your brother and then we will have a cranky toddler on our hands! We are going to explore a few methods of helping you sleep and soon, hopefully, soon we will all be getting the rest we need. So now that you know what's really going on let's get to you my sweet Jack.

You haven't quite been yourself these past few weeks. You have been pretty cranky. It could be my crankiness rubbing off, some development stuff, teething (oh teething) or any amount of things. But through the grumps you are still our sweet Jack. You have the cutest giggle...boy does it bring joy to my heart. You are really friendly, people are always coming up to you because you smiled at them. You are learning more sounds and that your sounds mean things. You now consistently say, "Hi da" to your Daddy...he loves it!! I am now "MMMMM!!" or "ma" occasionally. The other day we were playing in your room and Jakob ran out...you called after him "ka!!"...it was the cutest thing...I can already hear you changing this sound to 'kob'...amazing how speech develops! Other sounds you make are, "ba, ta, ca, ma, di, da, ti, ga, goo". I love hearing your speech develop...that sounds totally nerdy but I think it's amazing! I once had to take a little boy I nannied for to a speech therapist...I was amazed! There are some techniques I have held on to that have really helped your brother have excellent language skills and I am excited to pass these things along to you too!

Anyway...

You are eating three meals a day with solids. You aren't a huge breakfast fan, you like to take your time and you don't eat very much. This might change after you start sleeping through the night. You really love pears. I can mix just about anything with them and you will eat it. You still love bananas. Since I make most for your baby food I have started mixing in some spices to help things not be so bland and to get you used to things we eat. You love combined foods, some of your favorites are...cinnamon pumpkin and banana, pear and peas, ginger carrots and apple, cinnamon apple rice cereal, all spice butternut squash and cinnamon pear...this tastes more like dessert than a meal and you love it... ginger carrots and mangoes, yams and cinnamon apples. These are all I can think of right now, I love making your food, not just because I know what you are eating but I love helping you explore new flavors. Speaking of new flavors, last night your Daddy gave you a taste of his enchilada soup, your brow furrowed as you tasted it and then you opened your mouth for more...too cute. We are still breastfeeding, about 5 to 6 times a day depending on how many times you get up in the middle of the night. I am desperately trying to wean you to a bottle. You will have nothing to do with a bottle or a sippy cup. I know you won't be nursing forever but I would love to go on a date with your Daddy, I miss those special times. But, we have made the best of things and have had some special stay at home dates too!

Jackson, we have a few nick-names for you...we mostly call you Jax, this is what your brother calls you exclusively. Of course we call you Jack too. And I call you bug...for love bug, cuddle bug, stinker bug!  Daddy calls you bud. It's been hard...the nick-names we have been calling Jake are special to him and so now we have to come up with a whole new set.

You are sitting like a champ, you only fall over when you want something. You still hate being on your tummy. Although this morning you were fussing in your crib and I found you on your tummy...funny boy. You are trying to push up to crawl...I am in no rush for you to crawl. Everywhere I look I see Jakes toys of death for you to grab. Plus you are a big boy I want your muscles and bones to be good and ready. You love your jumpers, they keep you quite happy so I get a few things done. You are standing more on your own...who knows you might go straight to walking...oh heaven help us!

You have been going through a little bit of separation anxiety. I think that's part of the reason you aren't sleeping through the night. You have also been throwing a huge fit when you have to sit in your high chair at dinner. As soon as you get pulled out and are in my arms you are fine. Stinker.

I have to remind myself that this time will pass and I will actually miss having to hold you through dinner. I will miss snuggling you in the middle of the night. It's true...when you are older and independent I will miss the times when you needed me...just me. I am enjoying where you are because these moments won't last forever.

Here are a few things that will last forever...super cute pictures of you!!

Look at that face!!! 

we kept having to scoot you back in the chair...I didn't want a repeat of last months chair disaster!

I had your Daddy spotting...you were determined to stand...

 

little monkey boy!

love that smile

These couldn't have turned out any better...

you are seriously so cute....and now you'll never believe you have been a little cranky, with all these cute smiles!

Jackson, you are such a joy. You have completed our family so perfectly. I am excited to continue to watch you grow and to teach you about this beautiful world we live in. Happy 7 months my little monkey boy!

A Typical Morning

Here's a look into what our house normally looks like and what a typical morning looks like...

Toys everywhere, two boys who just aren't ready to start the day yet.

A little lounging

some TV watching

and some morning snuggles...

Happy Fall

On the first day of fall....

It was 80 degrees...I guess thats cooling off

Jack turned 7 months old

We got our fall decorations out

and then this happened...

Happy Fall....we can't wait for cool mornings, and cold nights...that's all that fall means in California. And time with family, pumpkin pie, chai lattes, long pants, sweaters, mud puddles and playing outside in the middle of the day!!

Singing

Jake, tonight you sung the whole alphabet from beginning to end, not missing any  letters. You have been mumbling the letters for sometime now. I really wanted you to be one of those kids that knows his alphabet but you had no interest in it. Twinkle, twinkle or itsy-bitsy spider, now those songs you love. Recently, after starting Pre-school you have been more interested in letters and their sounds, so I would like to take credit for you learning the alphabet but you just decided to memorize it and now you sing it all the time. You have been singing a lot of new songs lately. Tonight, when I normally sing you a song before bed, we snag together. I had tears in my eyes. There is something so special about singing with you. It touched my heart. I love singing and to share that with you brought such a deep joy to my heart. I wish I could put into words just how special it was for me to sing with you...I look forward to singing many more songs together. Christmas time will be a great time to learn some new songs! 

First Day of Pre-School

So, we started Pre-school with you this week...oh buddy. I have to keep reminding myself that you are only 2 1/2. It has really been a challenge so far. You want to do something else, don't want to listen, and what not. Plus I feel like you might not be learning anything...that's not even possible..you learn something from everything. Pre-school is something that isn't necessary but something that I feel is a good thing to do. To practice sitting still, listening, following directions and learning. So, we are doing our own curriculum from things I have pulled on-line, things I want you to know and things you need to know for Kindergarten. So far we have successfully had 'circle time' each morning with songs, memory verse, book reading and calendar time. Then we do a project that goes with our weekly theme, this project usually includes a fine motor skill. Then we do some more focused learning, like numbers, phonic or letter recognition. We start at 10am, Jack joins us for circle time then he goes down for a nap and we continue with school until lunch at around 12:30. So we're not doing anything for very long. We can get through things really quickly because it's just you and me. I think we will gradually increase the time we do school but for now this is working and you are still getting a nap/quite time in the afternoon. You are really enjoying the crafts. The other day you told me, "I really like learning school stuff Mommy." so at least you feel like you are learning something and you like it...job well done in my book! 

Here you are on your first day of preschool! 

Let's just call this: trying to get a toddler to smile! 

I still think it's so cool that you want to be a rally car driver when you grow up! What a cool boy you are! Whatever you end up doing will be great but that it just such an awesome thing...and not a very common desired occupation of a little boy...so your Daddy and I think it's pretty cool!

I love teaching you Jake. It's so fun to watch you discover new things and watch the light bulb turn on. It's fun to watch you get frustrated with things and get so determined that you can accomplish anything!  You are a great learner and so very smart. I look forward to what this year will teach both of us! 

Struggles.

So boys, I'm just going to be honest. I have been having a hard time. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough or the right thing. It's hard having my heart be divided...I love each of you so terribly much that I feel like you each need more from me. I'm constantly exhausted...still not sleeping through the night after six months starts to wear on you, you know? So, now I'm not in my right mind and trying to raise two little boys. I can't get anything done...like nothing. Every time I try to start something someone needs something, some is having a break down or just needs me. I know this time will pass and I will miss it but right now it's tough. The constant feeling of failure and guilt is a tough burden. But last night your Daddy and I were doing our daily devotional and it said "Judge yourself at what Christ is rather than at what you are. Satan will try to mar your peace by reminding you of your sinfulness and imperfections; you can only meet his accusations by faithfully adhering to the gospel and refusing to wear the yoke of bondage." -Charles Spurgeon 

Good stuff...so today I will remind myself of who I am in Christ. I want you boys to learn this from me as well...so I have to exemplify it for you...here goes. Thank the Lord for his mercy and grace that covers all! 

On a side note...I am so thankful that Daddy and I do daily devotions together. It's such a powerful way for us to connect to each other and to God. It's so insightful to read together and then discuss what we read. I get so much more out of it because I am able to vocalize my thought but then I learn from your Daddy and how he sees things. It's a wonderful thing and I am so thankful that your Daddy is such a good spiritual leader for us all! I pray every night that you will each have a love for the Lord and that you will find wives who share the same passion, it makes all the difference in the world. 

loving my boys...

Today I re-discovered something. I have the potential to choose to enjoy and not stress about life. Simple I know. But putting the ball in my court, so to speak, really made me realize that I had a choice. Lately life has been challenging. With Jack teething, not sleeping through the night and still eating every two hours, and Jake potty training and pushing every boundary he could find, I have been exhausted. I have been feeling like a huge failure. I have allowed myself to be grumpy. And this grumpiness blinds me to the blessings of everyday life. There is so much good that happens everyday but I was so focused on my own misery that I was missing out. I was missing my life. The stages my boys are at now aren't easy but I wouldn't trade it for anything. There is so much more good than bad and I'm ashamed to admit, I let exhaustion steal my joy. So today, I choose joy. Even when Jack cries. Even when Jake back talks. Joy. Joy will help me remember that someday I will miss them back talking. I will miss cuddling that sweet baby to sleep. I will miss Jake telling me I'm the best Mommy in the whole wide world. Someday my boys will be men and I know I will be so proud of who they are but I don't want to miss the here and now. I want to enjoy all there is to enjoy and forget the craziness that comes with motherhood. And now I'm crying…sometimes I forget to really love everyday and treat it as the gift that it is. So today I choose joy. 

Matthew 6:34  "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I mean look at all I have to be joyful for...

Raising an artist

Boys, I desire for you to grow up having experienced lots of different things. I want you to be able to pursue what you want. So, I am determined to expose you to all kinds of art and literature and activities.   This is part of the reason we want to homeschool you both. We want you to have individualized attention and we want to give you the opportunity during school time to further your talents and interests, not just with extracurriculars, because everyone has to learn the same thing in school. If one of you is great at sports than we'll do that. If one of you loves poetry, than you can do it. We can individualize your education to further your gifts and abilities, which is what we feel God calling us to do. To know you, and raise you to the best of our ability, so you can serve God to the best of your ability. It's my desire that both of you grow to be artists. Now, that's not saying you both have to be excellent painters or sketch artists. I want you to see the world as artists. To see the beauty in ordinary things, to think creatively and to have a good eye. I think these things are useful no matter what profession you go into. So, in my attempt to expose you all kinds of art we had some fun with water colors the other afternoon. Here you are Jake, painting away. 

End of Summer

A few weeks ago your Daddy got me a new lens! I was pretty excited to try it out so we set up a little end of summer photo shoot complete with watermelons. You boys weren't having it so it wasn't everything I had dreamed of but I still came out with one of my favorite shots of the two of you...

seriously adorable!

Brothers

Big Brother making sure Little Brother didn't fall over. 

Telling secrets

You both look older to me in this picture, like you are just sitting around enjoying a laugh!

giving little brother noses

poor Jack, you were traumatized after falling over on the grass. 

Oh Jake, such a goof!

but still so sweet

just sitting on some watermelon

cute feet...I could barely get you to hold still...i think you are tippy toeing in this picture

such cute boys

I'm so glad you like each other so much already!

such a country boy

look at that face...what are you up to?

my little adventurer 

this photo reminds me of "i'll watch the night turn bright blue...drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night." 

and to complete the red neckness...

shooting air soft with Daddy! Both of your faces make me laugh...Daddy concentrating, Jake a little intimidated. 

Well, so long summer...ok that's wishful thinking. We still have a little bit of indian summer to get through as always. But I long for sweaters and sipping coffee outside in crisp air. I love you boys in feety pajamas all snuggly on cool mornings. I can't wait...it's my favorite time of year, well I love the whole last part of the year from September through December...all of it is focused on family and I love that!