Hey Boys!: 35 Weeks and Counting

With each passing week I feel a sense of excitement as we near your due date. But I also feel like this could take forever. The last month is always the longest...in good and bad ways. I'm ready to meet you...but I still have things I need to get done, or feel I need to get done before your arrival. Also, you aren't done growing...so please little one stay safe until you are ready.

35 weeks is such an interesting time...You grow everyday and have the craziest kicks. Random people make comments everyday about my hugeness (so thoughtful). I am perpetually thirsty...I drink 6 huge ball jars....at least...plus tea and milk and such. When I do the dishes my belly gets soaked. When I eat things drip on you. You kick when your daddy talks to you and when your brother lays his head on my tummy. I haven't gotten puffy yet, so thankful for no sausage toes. Finding clothes to wear is difficult. Leggings and long shirts on a daily basis. My body is sore...I don't sleep the greatest...for many reasons. My mind is thinking of all the things I need to do to feel prepared for you, my sides get sick of me laying on them, and I get hot...then cold...then hot...then cold. You sleep through the night if I don't get up, I hope that is a sign of things to come...your brother was a great sleeper (we worked hard at that). Your feet push out so hard on my right side...we can actually feel your foot...toes and heel. It's amazing. At our last doctor appointment the midwife said you feel like a big boy. I figured as much...your bother was 9lbs. 13oz. so I wasn't thinking you were going to be small. There is just more of you to love!! I am currently loving starchy foods...I know so good for me right? I have been consistently craving savory foods with you, with the exception of Cinnamon Toast Crunch (I have a serious weakness for that cereal). All I want to eat is hearty breakfast foods...eggs, hash browns, wheat toast, sausage. Luckily there are healthy options for those so we haven't gained too much weight. It's funny the thought of sweet foods turns my stomach. I have been feeling pretty well...tired...but great. Slightly sore/joints stretched out but nothing out of the ordinary. I just really want to lay down and sleep...good sleep. But other moments I'm all full of energy and ready to get stuff done.

Having this on our calendar is really making things real. We only have a few weeks until you could make your arrival. Due dates are funny things. They are set up so definitively and really it's a loose guesstimate. It is basically torture to wait. As soon as that due date comes and goes...I turn into the most impatient mama. Oh man. I hate not being in control and this is the ultimate not in control moment. Beyond wanting to hold you there is a real concern that I won't be able to deliver you and will have to have a C-section...not what I want at all. Especially having you and your brother. I love the quick recovery of a natural birth. Your brother was difficult for me to deliver (little stinker was not only big but face up...HELLO!!) and if we have to induce again I might need an epi-dural...which I neither want nor can afford again. Really, as soon as I had that dpi-dural after laboring for a whole day (12 hours) on pitocin with no drugs, I was like...Oh, this is why women get these!!! I didn't have an out of touch feeling at all, I knew right when those contractions were coming and I could push. Not that you need to know this. But, you can tell I am starting to remember what labor was like the first time and I'm starting to fret about my impending labor with you. Now, lets take a moment and learn from your mother. I have no reason to worry about anything. Your brother got here safe. So will you (In whatever way that is). Labor the first time was long but really...momentary in the grand scheme of things. So, instead of what if, I need to stay focused on the fact that soon we will have a sweet baby boy. You are the best reward and that is what I need to remember. This time will be different. I have done this all before. There are very few unknowns at this point. nursing, burping, changing...old hat by now. But the reality of having you and your toddler brother running around is sometimes a bit scary. I can't just sit and take care of you...although there will be times like that because I have a great family that will gladly watch Jake.

I am in such anticipation of the moment your brother will meet you. I just know he is going to be a great big brother. At first he might be disappointed that you won't come out walking, talking and playing. But, he is very caring and will be such a big helper with you. He loves to help and I have fostered that as much as possible so he will love to help you too!

Your Daddy is super excited to meet you. He said that he knows what to expect and that has him even more excited. He feels you kicking all the time and last night even felt your whole foot when you were pushing. We talk to you and play music to you. You are so still and then when we stop you go crazy, flipping (ok more like rolling since you are running out of room) and kicking.

This post is going on forever...

We are getting ready for you Jack...