Life With an Infant

Hey Jack, 

I have forgotten what it was like to have an infant. I think your mind blocks out the hard parts and all you remember about infancy is the cuddling and sweet smell of baby. I had forgotten about not just being shot with pee but the force (maybe its just my babies) that poop comes out too. You have pooped on me a few times. I had forgotten about the gas...again it might just be my babies. I had forgotten about the sleepiness...it's not that I'm really loosing a lot of sleep but waking up three times a night and feeding keeps one from getting good sleep and this time around I can't sleep when you sleep...I have Jake to take care of during the day. 

Now this sounds a lot like complaining...it kind of is. But I know how truly blessed we are to have you and this time in life doesn't last forever. I catch myself wishing away this time...being tired or being a milk machine and then I look down at you and get teary. I look at you and know you won't be this small forever, someday you will be 2 and talking back to me, you will be 10 and full of adventure, you will be 18 and moving out and I will wish to hold you one last time. I will long for the days where you fell asleep in my arms, for the moments you smiled your sweet infant smile for that sweet infant smell on your skin. It won't last forever and I want to soak up each precious moment. That being said I can't force myself to enjoy every moment...but with the knowledge that this time doesn't last forever it makes everything a little more enjoyable. 

I have always thought that pregnancy, birth and infancy were part of a marathon. It takes endurance and stamina to make it through. Each stage comes with it's own challenges and joys. Each stage is a gift, a gift in patience, in grace. Each stage is to be enjoyed in it's own way. So because of that I will sit with you, let   you fall asleep on my chest I will hold you close and know that this will not last forever. I am so grateful for these moments but also so excited for all that the future holds for you and our family. 

Jack you are a sweet baby and I can tell that your eyes are so curious about the world. Your eyes smile at me even now and I am excited to watch you grow and see you turn out to be. 

Love, 

Mommy/ It's all about the journey...