Hey Boys,
Yesterday we went to church for the first time in a while. With Jack being little it didn't make sense for us to start church searching. I was more leary of leaving you boys with people we never met and Jack being so little I would have spent more time out of the service feeding him than anything so...yesterday we decided it was time to start our search.
Not this process is so foreign to your Daddy and I. Usually we are being hired by a church, not searching for the church we want to attend. So, before we started searching we figured out that we wanted to pick a church for you boys. We are adults and we can find what we need anywhere but you boys need to grow up in a good healthy church environment. We want you to have the opportunity to have adults pour into your life and help grow your spiritual walk along with us. We want friends for you, friends with the same priorities in life. So with that in mind. We tried a church yesterday.
I was bummed...
We took you back to the nursery and I was surprised to see that both of you boys were in the same room. Jake (2 1/2) and Jack (4 months) in the same room. So right away I wasn't super happy. We met three women that were in there and changed with your care. I gave them a few basic instructions (no food or bottles for the baby and take him out of his car seat), we took a pager and were on our way. We sat through a service that I will call...typical...nice but typical. The service ran long...the pastor was announcing his departure and a new guy taking his place...super awkward for a first visit! So we stepped out of service early and grabbed you two, so Jack could eat...a half hour over due. We walked into the nursery to find children running all over...typical for little ones but there seemed to be no one watching. Jack you were still buckled in your seat being lazily rocked by a woman's foot. Jake you didn't want to leave, you will have fun just about anywhere with kids. But I was sorely disappointed. We could have stayed home and at least you would have been played with and loved. I want more for you than a room to sit in.
I want people to love you, to care for you, to teach you about God and his love. Jake, you are a smart kid, I want you to have a structured time, craft, play, learning, songs and snack. You are capable of learning and retaining basic concepts so I want them taught to you. You are being taught things at home as well. In no way am I sending you to church to learn everything...but I want it to reinforce what we talk about during the week. That God created you and loves you...he created the world we live in and sustains it. Jack, for you, I want a place where you can lay on your tummy and not get squished. A place where someone will hold you and talk to you. Not leave you in your chair and not even make eye contact with you (to be fair I have no idea if you were ever gotten out of your chair, when i left you were buckled in and when I returned you were buckled so I assumed you were never taken out). I want a place where I can drop you off and know that some random person won't come in and take you. All they had were your names...you could have an allergy or have been picked up by who knows who.
We have had a few interesting church nursery experiences before... Jake your second meal was fed to you by someone in a church nursery. They saw the applesauce in your bag and fed it to you...with out me telling them to. Oh Buddy. Then, Jake when you were probably 7 months old a lady in a church nursery fed you whole blueberries because you had teeth...seriously...oh and cheerios (which contain wheat...which you don't give to babies younger than at least 9 months old!!) I couldn't make this up if I tried. Church nurseries need to get it together!! Visiting churches and leaving you with someone I don't know is literally terrifying...especially now! I would keep you both with us but Jack, you are not a quiet baby and Jake you are a toddler...you both need a place to be you!
It's hard because we have experienced a good nursery (at the Meyer's church). There is a baby room, walkers room and a 2&3's room. Perfect. You both get what you need. Plus there children's program is pretty stellar...they have well versed kids which I would love for both of you boys to do...hiding the word of God in your heart is invaluable!!
So the search continues. It's odd. The things we want in a church are totally different now that we have children! You boys come first. Somewhere there must be a good place for us.
We have been out of church since last October...we were decompressing from a few interesting experiences at a church and then getting our hearts in the right place to go to church again. Like I said before I have trouble leaving you in the nursery when your so little and I don't know the people (what's the point of church hunting if I don't even get to sit in service and will just nurse the whole time). Plus Daddy's job hasn't allowed him Sunday's off consistently and I'm not church hunting alone with two kids. We have had to search our hearts to find out why we should go to church...your Daddy and I have very personal relationships with the Lord and with each other. We grow, challenge and learn from each other daily. We aren't into needing tons of same sex friends and separating our family. We decided that if we are going to church it needs to be good. We need to be together as a family for events and you boys need to be getting good teaching/love. The Lord is leading our search and guiding us to the right place...and if nothing else were are getting great ideas if we start a church someday!
Love,
Mommy/ don't forget we are the church...
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