Hey Boys!: Dear Jake

Dear sweet Jakob,

You crashed little brothers 7 month photo shoot. I didn't mind, it's not everyday that you volunteer to let me take pictures of you. I think you are generally sick of having a camera in your face. This time in your life is pretty dramatic. You are feeling strong emotions and you don't quite how to handle them. You love big and feel strongly about thing. It has resulted in some pretty tearful time outs and some very special cuddle times. You are such a smart boy. You listen and learn so quickly. I am so proud of you. We have talked a lot about changing your attitude when you feel grumpy. You change your attitude better than me...I'll admit sometimes I choose to stay grumpy at a situation...so we all are doing some growing up!! You have cruised through these terrible twos with ease and more grace than most. I feel rather proud...proud of who you are turning out to be. You are so sweet, so caring and very smart. You have the sharpest wit...which keeps me on my toes. You are very determined, which we are trying to channel in the right direction...with great success I might add. If you fall you get right back up and conquer the task you set out to complete.

You bring me so much joy Jake. It is a joy to teach you about life and the Giver of Life. I love watching you learn new things and the joy it brings you. You are such a sponge and we are doing are best to help you soak up good things. You have the greatest imagination, you have your Daddy to thank for that, he has helped you from very early on play imaginatively. We pretend your bed is a fort, castle, boat or tent and you just run with it. I love playing with you!

You have such a servants heart already, you want to help with everything we do. I will do my best to always allow you to help even when it's not convenient because you love to help and I want you to want to help in the future. To not just help me but to help those around you, having a servants heart is such a powerful ministry tool, one that I hope to help you foster and develop.

There are times that I feel like I'm failing or not doing enough for you. I'm sorry if that is ever true. Know that I always try to do my best. You are my everything and the biggest blessing that I never saw coming. I always heard people say, 'Children are such blessings', I always felt...'children are a lot of work'. No offense, but the sleepless nights and constantly being graciously available is tiring. It is easy to loose sight of the goal and purpose of our lives. You being my first child everything was new. I always knew that I loved kids and wanted to be a mom. What I discovered is that there is no greater joy than watching someone that is a part of you grow, learn, explore and love life. Even when you tell me you don't like me, I find joy in knowing that you recognize your feelings and can verbalize the way you feel. I also find joy in knowing that in about 30 seconds you will tell me you love me and say sorry for the way you acted. When you get angry I find joy knowing that you understand enough to feel strongly about a situation. Of course I find joy easily in the times when you are silly, cuddly or interested in learning. Those times are the majority, I just have to remind myself of that sometimes. You have taught me so much, about myself and about who God is. I have seen and experienced his heart more than ever ever before by becoming a mom. For that I am truly grateful. You have changed my life, not always in way I wanted but always in ways that needed changing. You have made me better, more self confident, self aware and generally nicer all around. These are things that you didn't have to try to do, just your existence has brought great refinement to my life.