Happy Fall....we can't wait for cool mornings, and cold nights...that's all that fall means in California. And time with family, pumpkin pie, chai lattes, long pants, sweaters, mud puddles and playing outside in the middle of the day!!
Jake, tonight you sung the whole alphabet from beginning to end, not missing any letters. You have been mumbling the letters for sometime now. I really wanted you to be one of those kids that knows his alphabet but you had no interest in it. Twinkle, twinkle or itsy-bitsy spider, now those songs you love. Recently, after starting Pre-school you have been more interested in letters and their sounds, so I would like to take credit for you learning the alphabet but you just decided to memorize it and now you sing it all the time. You have been singing a lot of new songs lately. Tonight, when I normally sing you a song before bed, we snag together. I had tears in my eyes. There is something so special about singing with you. It touched my heart. I love singing and to share that with you brought such a deep joy to my heart. I wish I could put into words just how special it was for me to sing with you...I look forward to singing many more songs together. Christmas time will be a great time to learn some new songs!
So, we started Pre-school with you this week...oh buddy. I have to keep reminding myself that you are only 2 1/2. It has really been a challenge so far. You want to do something else, don't want to listen, and what not. Plus I feel like you might not be learning anything...that's not even possible..you learn something from everything. Pre-school is something that isn't necessary but something that I feel is a good thing to do. To practice sitting still, listening, following directions and learning. So, we are doing our own curriculum from things I have pulled on-line, things I want you to know and things you need to know for Kindergarten. So far we have successfully had 'circle time' each morning with songs, memory verse, book reading and calendar time. Then we do a project that goes with our weekly theme, this project usually includes a fine motor skill. Then we do some more focused learning, like numbers, phonic or letter recognition. We start at 10am, Jack joins us for circle time then he goes down for a nap and we continue with school until lunch at around 12:30. So we're not doing anything for very long. We can get through things really quickly because it's just you and me. I think we will gradually increase the time we do school but for now this is working and you are still getting a nap/quite time in the afternoon. You are really enjoying the crafts. The other day you told me, "I really like learning school stuff Mommy." so at least you feel like you are learning something and you like it...job well done in my book!
Here you are on your first day of preschool!
Let's just call this: trying to get a toddler to smile!
I still think it's so cool that you want to be a rally car driver when you grow up! What a cool boy you are! Whatever you end up doing will be great but that it just such an awesome thing...and not a very common desired occupation of a little boy...so your Daddy and I think it's pretty cool!
I love teaching you Jake. It's so fun to watch you discover new things and watch the light bulb turn on. It's fun to watch you get frustrated with things and get so determined that you can accomplish anything! You are a great learner and so very smart. I look forward to what this year will teach both of us!
So boys, I'm just going to be honest. I have been having a hard time. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough or the right thing. It's hard having my heart be divided...I love each of you so terribly much that I feel like you each need more from me. I'm constantly exhausted...still not sleeping through the night after six months starts to wear on you, you know? So, now I'm not in my right mind and trying to raise two little boys. I can't get anything done...like nothing. Every time I try to start something someone needs something, some is having a break down or just needs me. I know this time will pass and I will miss it but right now it's tough. The constant feeling of failure and guilt is a tough burden. But last night your Daddy and I were doing our daily devotional and it said "Judge yourself at what Christ is rather than at what you are. Satan will try to mar your peace by reminding you of your sinfulness and imperfections; you can only meet his accusations by faithfully adhering to the gospel and refusing to wear the yoke of bondage." -Charles Spurgeon
Good stuff...so today I will remind myself of who I am in Christ. I want you boys to learn this from me as well...so I have to exemplify it for you...here goes. Thank the Lord for his mercy and grace that covers all!
On a side note...I am so thankful that Daddy and I do daily devotions together. It's such a powerful way for us to connect to each other and to God. It's so insightful to read together and then discuss what we read. I get so much more out of it because I am able to vocalize my thought but then I learn from your Daddy and how he sees things. It's a wonderful thing and I am so thankful that your Daddy is such a good spiritual leader for us all! I pray every night that you will each have a love for the Lord and that you will find wives who share the same passion, it makes all the difference in the world.