Friday, September 7, 2012

Struggles.




So boys, I'm just going to be honest. I have been having a hard time. I constantly feel like I'm not doing enough or the right thing. It's hard having my heart be divided...I love each of you so terribly much that I feel like you each need more from me. I'm constantly exhausted...still not sleeping through the night after six months starts to wear on you, you know? So, now I'm not in my right mind and trying to raise two little boys. I can't get anything done...like nothing. Every time I try to start something someone needs something, some is having a break down or just needs me. I know this time will pass and I will miss it but right now it's tough. The constant feeling of failure and guilt is a tough burden. But last night your Daddy and I were doing our daily devotional and it said "Judge yourself at what Christ is rather than at what you are. Satan will try to mar your peace by reminding you of your sinfulness and imperfections; you can only meet his accusations by faithfully adhering to the gospel and refusing to wear the yoke of bondage." -Charles Spurgeon 
Good stuff...so today I will remind myself of who I am in Christ. I want you boys to learn this from me as well...so I have to exemplify it for you...here goes. Thank the Lord for his mercy and grace that covers all! 

On a side note...I am so thankful that Daddy and I do daily devotions together. It's such a powerful way for us to connect to each other and to God. It's so insightful to read together and then discuss what we read. I get so much more out of it because I am able to vocalize my thought but then I learn from your Daddy and how he sees things. It's a wonderful thing and I am so thankful that your Daddy is such a good spiritual leader for us all! I pray every night that you will each have a love for the Lord and that you will find wives who share the same passion, it makes all the difference in the world. 

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